New Year's Resolutions 2009

1. Be more decisive

2. Stop downplaying myself, even in jest

3. Give answers confidently and do not second guess myself

4. Hold firmly to Colossians 3:23 and Psalms 56:4, remembering I do not work for man

5. Continually ask God to help me live out 1 Corinthians 13 in all my relationships, to grow in love and avoid the childish

Currently Finding God at Harvard: Spiritual Journeys of Thinking Christians see related

A couple of things I've learned over the years, in no particular order

• Conflicts are inevitable.   I think I've become better at voicing my opinion if I get irked or frustrated.  Confronting the person (only when I think necessary) and trying to calmly and productively hash out our differences has led to healthier relationships.  Understanding conflict orientation and personality type is important.  That being said, it's hard for disagreements to end well.  I don't go around looking for conflict.  Arguments require cognitive and emotional capital.  It's easy to feel flustered even after a seemingly productive argument.   
  
  
• There are more constructive ways of dialoguing than others.  Rapid fire questioning is not constructive.  Accusatory remarks and condescension are not constructive.  There needs to be acknowledgement of the other person's ideas.  There needs to be some processing of each other's thoughts.  Even a simple "I see your point" or "I hear you" goes a long way in having a productive conversation and the other person actually listening to your points as well.  Responses starting with "no" or "but" usually don't lead to favorable outcomes.  
    
• The only thing I learned in college was how to take short-cuts.  People who have a knack for determining what is most important to study and avoid spending time on material unlikely to be heavily tested perform the best.  Sadly the same is true in medical school except on a scale much worse.  Your task is to assimilate an incredibly large body of knowledge.  It is impossible to memorize everything so you know everything superficially, but not deeply.  Whoever cuts their losses and knows the major facts scores the best on exams.  Does this skill make you a good doctor?  No, but unfortunately we are by and large evaluated in this way, through a set of exam scores. 
  
  
• I have holes in my education.   To be honest, it wasn't until the end of my junior year where I felt like I was truly appreciating the classes I was taking and where I started to see the real value in various fields of study, especially the social sciences.  Perhaps no one really knows what they're doing as a freshman and developing appreciation for any discipline is a process.  But it was only after the fact my senior year that I realized there are so many things I still want to explore.  I think the assertion that elite universities produce career-driven people and not minds is a fair generalization.  People I've met who have a genuine curiosity in what they're studying are the exception, not the rule.   
  
  
• The name of the school you graduated from doesn't determine how quality of a person you are.  In fact, there's usually an inverse relationship between the quality of the person and the more "elite" a school they attend.  The statement that Northwestern is a conglomerate of socially awkward and selfish know-it-alls is not far from the truth.  There's something to be said about social and emotional intelligence, and creativity.  Being book smart is only one particular kind of intelligence.  There's a maturity I see in people I know who haven't had things handed to them or who haven't had their egos falsely inflated by attending a big name school.   
  
  
• Basketball is all confidence.  I've stopped apologizing when I play basketball.  I think ever since I've done that I've played better.  You can't be afraid to make mistakes.  I'm going to turn the ball over.  I'm going to miss shots.  But I keep shooting because I know my shot is as good or better than most people I play with.  I am not tentative in attacking the guy guarding me.  I make them prove they're better than me instead of being passive and never finding out if he can stop me.
  
  
• You're ultimately judged by your external behavior.  No one knows what's going on in your head unless you communicate your thoughts.  People don't know if you care unless you show it through your actions and words.  Likewise, people don't know you're upset unless you let them know.  In the classroom, on the job or in relationships, you're evaluated based on what you actually say and do and not what you feel internally.    
  

One more high-yield fact for you M2s